Unicorns and Yesterday are Equally Real

I love the facetious take on belief systems put forward by the "Invisible Pink Unicorn". Unicorns, clearly, are invisible because we do not see them. They are pink because we have faith. I think all belief systems (parodies or not) must have some elements of both experience/evidence and faith. I happen to like Buddhism precisely because it involves very little (to no) required faith in that I cannot personally observe or experience. In fact, to me, the "faith" required in Buddhism has to do with my own observations and experiences themselves. How does my own mind, my own delusions, my own memory perceive and distort things? What is ultimate truth? Is there an ultimate truth? I must have faith that the more I let go of my "ignorance" and the more I stop thinking (both of these things counterintuitive to the societal mind), I will see deeper into what is, not what I think should be.

So last night, I was googling unicorns and browsing through results (yes, I like unicorns, and rainbows, and sparkles...this may not be very zen of me but I have accepted my whimsy, thus this blog)...and it occurred to me that unicorns were as real as the past. The more I pondered this, the more I realized I couldn't argue it. Someone might say that the events of yesterday happened, that they SAW them, that they have evidence today of what happened yesterday. Truth be told, however, all that yesterday is today is a bunch of energy pulses in our brains we call memories. There is no yesterday, except in our minds. If I have energy pulses in my brain of majestic unicorns right alongside my memories of going to work yesterday, eating food yesterday, taking a shower yesterday...then it's all the same.

So either unicorns and yesterday both exist...or I accept that neither exists. This is where I begin to see that it's all just made up. All of it. All the meanings and importance and drama and seriousness. It's all made up. This moment is all there is. Probably best to spend it wisely.

You have to start somewhere...

...so here I begin...

In 2010 my life fell apart. I'll spare you the dramatic details, but suffice it to say I was meltdown central for a good year (or two). In the midst of this devastating emotional breakdown, my sister suggested that I read the book "Eat, Pray, Love". Unfortunately, I couldn't get more than a few pages in before getting so emotional I had to put the book down. It wasn't until months later that I had the courage to sit and read the book...and I'll just go ahead and be a truthful sap and tell you it changed my life.

The book was relatable, and that was comforting, but the true awakening was to meditation and eastern philosophies. I began to study Buddhism (not actually in the book but that is where I landed in my exploration), and therein WOKE UP and for the first time in my life began to get glimpses of things as they truly are.

So now I'm "stable" again (certain in uncertainty or fooling myself?), and a very different version of myself (whatever myself is). I meditate and read philosophy daily (Buddhist and otherwise, I'm particularly fond of Krishnamurti). I feel so happy for the calm, but I fear (and what is fear?) the day when I next suffer major emotional upheaval. How will I cope? I still have so far to go. Will I need another year (or two) to get back to my center? I hope not, but all I have is the now.

So here's a little blog where I'll write about my practice. Maybe someone out there can relate, maybe I'll create a little online sangha. Or maybe I'll just have a little online repository for my thoughts.

Hopefully, someone can benefit from this.